Run by the owner of the equally geeky Sailor Moon Tumblr, Jungle Garden Senshi.
Thank you everyone for joining me on the new Tumblr journey. The Natsume fandom, notably the Harvest Moon fandom,...
Unfortunately, when I received my Bachelor’s degree in English, my ass was superglued to the saddle of a high fucking horse.
I literally cannot get...
themirage-prismatic asked you:
I was wondering if you had any advice on creating slang for another world? (in this case, Earth in the...
So, several years ago, I thought about what a modern day version of Beauty and the Beast would be like, specifically how the character Gaston would be portrayed in a modern setting. I decided he’d be a lawyer and I rewrote his villain theme to fit. This is the result (an updated version of the one already posted on my Deviantart):
Gosh it disturbs me to see you, Gaston
Looking so down in the dumps
Every guy here’d love to be you, Gaston
Even when taking your lumps
There’s no man in the city as hated and admired as you
You’re the city’s richest and most successful guy
Everyone’s awed and inspired by you
And it’s not very hard to see why
No one’s ruthless as Gaston
No one’s truth-less as Gaston
No one’s got quite such a big office as Gaston
For there’s no man in town half as rich
Perfect, a pure paragon
You can ask any Tom, Nick, or Mitch
And they’ll tell you which lawyer they’d prefer to hire on
No one’s slick like Gaston
Wins cases quick like Gaston
And drives an environmentally friendly Civic like Gaston
“As a lawyer, yes, I’m intimidating”
My, what a guy, that Gaston
Give five “hurrahs!”
Give twelve “hip-hips!”
Gaston is the best
And the rest is all drips
No one case writes like Gaston
Double highlights like Gaston
In a courthouse nobody fights like Gaston
For there’s no one as sneaky or dishonest
“As you see, I’ve got brains to spare”
Not a bit of him’s meek, wimpy or modest
“And I’ve got all the most fashionable in formal men’s wear”
No one acquits like Gaston
Matches wits like Gaston
No one knows the proper information to omit like Gaston
"I’m especially good at exonerating"
The jury votes for Gaston!
"When I was a lad I studied law for four hours a day
So that my brain would get large
And now that I’m grown I study law for five hours a day
And no one has so many criminals they discharge”
No one files a lawsuit like Gaston
Wears an Armani suit like Gaston
Then collects from the defendant all their loot like Gaston
"I use Socrates busts in all of my decorating!"
My, what a guy
Remember back when the second generation of Pokemon was just coming out and we still got most of our information from magazines rather than the internet and there were all these rumors swirling around that Marill’s localized name was going to be Pikablu because Marill was a new evolution of Pikachu?
If you could have one former Harvest Moon character cameo, who would you pick?
I would kind of love to see Kent as the Oracle’s somewhat reluctant apprentice.
With all of the Oz remakes and reimaginings there have been in recent years, it surprises me that no one has reimagined the one that has the most potential. What I really want is for someone to tackle The Marvelous Land of Oz. The Marvelous Land of Oz is the second book in the Oz series and in some ways it really shows. While L. Frank Baum didn’t specialize in consistency at the best of times, Marvelous Land really shows it. The book starts shortly after Dorothy has left Oz. The Scarecrow is in charge of the Emerald City, but the book opens in the Gillikin Country and follows a boy named Tip.
If you know anything about Oz, you know that the Gillikin Country, the purple land located in the north of Oz, is the wildest and most unexplored region of Oz and, usually, the most interesting. Tip is a boy who lives there under the the guardianship of the wicked witch Mombi who has raised him since he was a baby (the first inconsistency to crop up, in other books it’s said that no one in Oz ever ages.) Tip hates her and one day decides to play a trick on her by building a pumpkin-headed man to scare her when she returns from visiting the Crooked Magician Dr. Nikidik (he’ll show up again in The Patchwork Girl of Oz.) Mombi realizes it is a trick and plays a trick on Tip in turn, using the Powder of Life she brought home to bring the man Tip built to life. Despite this, Tip angers Mombi enough that she decides to turn him into a marble statue for her garden. Before she can do this, Tip runs away, taking his man (named Jack Pumpkinhead) and Mombi’s Powder of Life, which he uses to bring to life a sawhorse.
As he’s running away, Tip, Jack Pumpkinhead, and the Sawhorse meet General Jinjur and her army of girls. Jinjur has grown bored with women’s tasks and decided to take over the Emerald City. Her Army of Revolt is made up entirely of pretty girls (as no man would hit a pretty girl) and fights with knitting needles. Interestingly enough, Jinjur’s army is one of at least three fully female armies that appear in the Oz series and it’s stated in the narration that women make much better soldiers than men because they are less squeamish about blood. Jinjur and her army succeed in taking over Emerald City and the Scarecrow together with Tip, Jack, and the Sawhorse (who the Scarecrow befriends) are all forced to flee the palace. They meet up with the Tin Woodman and travel to seek Glinda’s help in getting back the city.
And here’s where things get really interesting. Glinda refuses. Why? Because the Scarecrow isn’t the rightful ruler anymore than Jinjur is! A long time ago, the Wizard of Oz usurped the throne from rightful King Pastoria and hid away his baby daughter, Princess Ozma. This is especially interesting, since in all the other books the Wizard of Oz is presented as a mostly kind man, if rather a humbug. It’s never really explained how the Wizard of Oz managed to usurp the throne or his reasons for doing so, which provides a fascinating gap in the story that I’d love to see a writer fill in. (In later books it’s retconned that the throne had been usurped before the Wizard arrived, but both are more or less equally canon, so a retelling could easily draw from either.)
In any case, it turns out that Ozma had been turned into a boy in order to hide her by the wicked Mombi and is no other than our protagonist Tip. I’ve always been a bit disappointed by how the books handled this because as soon as Tip is turned into Ozma again, he becomes extremely feminine and almost disgustingly perfect. Don’t get me wrong, I love Ozma, but I really would have liked to see her maintain a bit of Tip’s mischievous side or something. Which brings me to another thing I’d love to see a modern writer do: make Ozma a more complicated character. Show the transition being difficult for her at times! Let her miss the freedom of being a boy who doesn’t have to rule over a country from time to time! I mean, good grief, do you realize that you could easily and nearly canonically make Tip/Ozma transgendered!? It’s not a story I think I could write, but it’s one that I think I’d love to read.
Plus, there’s the exploration of gender roles that comes with Jinjur and her army and later Glinda’s own (much more competent) army of girls. In the actual book, the Army of Revolt forces the men to do women’s work of taking care of the children and minding the house, tiring them so much they’re begging for a return to the status quo. Meanwhile, the girls of the army become bored of just sitting around and are happy enough to go back to their work. But in a retelling I could see the ending of the story being very different. Maybe the women revolt because they want to do the same jobs as their husbands. Maybe some of the men find they prefer doing the jobs they’d previously left to their wives. It would be so easy to modernize and reimagine The Marvelous Land of Oz and it greatly disappoints me that no one has done it yet. (If you write something based off of this post, let me know! I’d love to see it. If you want to know more about The Marvelous Land of Oz, the book can be found for free in its entirety at Project Gutenburg.)
It’s safe to say that I’m a fan of both Jeremy Abbott and Ashley Wagner. They are both phenomenal skaters, but, and this is a big but, they both have a tendency to crack under pressure. This was evident full force in Jeremy Abbott’s frankly disastrous short skate for the brand new team event. It was heartbreaking to watch, but hardly surprising. That said, Abbott was the only real choice to make for the men’s spot on the team. As much as I love Jason Brown, he is a star of tomorrow. He’s only 19 and as of yet lacks quad jumps in his arsenal, which have become so important to modern men’s figure skating.
For the ladies, we have more options. Which is why I’m extremely dubious about the decision to have Ashley skate for the United States team. I have no doubt Meryl Davis and Charlie White will skate beautifully, as always, and most likely win the team ten points (though they’ll have to fight for it against Canadians Virtue and Moir and Russia’s Soloviev and Bobrova), but there will still be quite a bit of pressure on Ashley Wagner to preform well, which is worrying since Japan (currently in 4th place) has powerhouse Mao Asada, Italy is sending Carolina Kostner, and while Yulia Lipnitskaya is young, it’s never safe to count out Russia. If Ashley lets her nerves get the best of her, there will be plenty of women looking to take advantage of the situation.
Already the ISU has shown a special preference toward Ashley Wagner by including her on the US Olympic team over Mirai Nagasu. Though I don’t share the opinion of some that Mirai failed the United States by finishing off the podium at the 2010 Olympics (the women’s field was absolutely phenomenal: Yuna Kim was unbeatable; Mao, as I’ve already stated, is an absolute powerhouse; and Joannie Rochette skated beautifully; finishing 4th was quite an achievement for Mirai), I do agree that Ashley’s overall performance earned her the spot on the team over Mirai, as much as I would have liked to see Mirai at the Olympics again.
The decision to have Ashley skate for the ladies during the team event is more questionable. Even if Meryl Davis and Charlie White do manage to win ten points for the team, the pressure on Ashley will still be immense. Given her track record of faltering under these types of circumstances, picking Ashley over Gracie Gold—who is also very talented and much more reliable—seems extremely risky. I want Ashley to skate well, I know she has it in her to skate well, but I’m not sure she’ll be able to deliver. I hope she’ll prove all of us doubters wrong and give an amazing performance, but the whole situation makes me nervous. If Ashley proves to be a repeat of Jeremy Abbott, it could keep us from entering the second round of competition for the team event, which would be a shame, as the United States has a very good figure skating team at the moment—I wouldn’t hesitate to call them one of the top four in the world at the moment along with Russia, Canada, and Japan (“Queen” Yuna is probably the best ladies figure skater overall, possibly ever, but as she’s the only Korean figure skater of any prominence, South Korea doesn’t make the team list)—and not advancing to the second round of the skating would be a disservice to all of the United States figure skaters who consistently deliver.
Here’s hoping I’m wrong!
Your ship, washing dishes together in the cramped back room of a restaurant.